I wash not pished
I spent most of my weekend in France this weekend. My last trip was in March which ended up in a drunken singing session on the coach as we returned to the Uk. This booze cruise trip was also from work, and we could invite whoever we wanted. I was pestered into taking my deranged 19yr old half cousin Ayesha with me. I knew I’d regret doing it as I can’t even keep her under control but she came down from Manchester for the weekend so she could play with Elmo!. She was sad enough to take Elmo on the coach with us which made him quite popular with the other 3yr olds…
We set off for Dover at 04:00 on Saturday morning. We reached Dover very quickly, caught our SeaFrance ferry and starting crossing the channel. Last time we did this, the sea was nice and calm, this time however it felt like I was in a canoe in the middle of the pacific! The weather in France, Calais was horrid (again), but we were here for ze booze! Four hypermarkets were visited, and lots of booze purchased! I ended up spending just over £250 on a whole load of assorted drinks, while Ayesha tried to chat up a young guy at the customer service desk. I think he didn’t understand a word she was babbling on about, he certainly looked puzzled.
We visited Boulogne after that for 2hrs but it was miserable. The weather was dull and almost everyone was too tired to even get out of the coach after having run around hypermarkets for a solid 3 hours or so. Coming back to the Uk was fun. At passport control, I tried to convince them that Ayesha was an illegal lol, they actually told her to stand to one side for a few minutes until she eventually found her passport! 
The coach broke down just 30mins after leaving Dover. While the driver and his assistants tried to sort the issue out, they were unaware that most of us had sneaked out the side of the coach and grabbed as much booze as we could from our personal purchases! Bwahaha. Once again, half the people on the coach were totally smashed and drunk somewhat silly as we sang every Robbie Williams, Westlife and thankfully Oasis tracks that the driver had put on just to shut us up. Good luck explaining to your mum why your jeans stink of Jack Daniels & Coke Ayesha
I had a lovely time, partially marred by the weather but I’m safe and happy knowing that I’ve got enough booze to give friends and family for Xmas now. Mmm Baileys Truffles!
I’ve been looking everywhere for one of this Xmas’s hottest presents, but can’t find one anywhere! I’m off to France at the end of this month for two days so I’ll be scouring the stores and hypermarkets over there for any chance of pre-ordering the thing. This is a plea for help, Elmo must be found! Seriously lol, if anyone knows where I could pre-order one (apart from amazon uk) I’d be most grateful 
The Gospel According To Chris Moyles
This week I bought my first autobiography! It was titled ‘The Gospel According to Chris Moyles’. Superb read to be fair.
Chris Moyles happens to be the Uk’s most popular breakfast radio show presenter and is a true legend. Him and his team have escalated Radio 1’s listening figures enormously and as a result, they’ve won a string of awards. Chris has just released his autobiography, which will no doubt sell like hotcakes. He’s not the biggest star in the world like your Wayne Rooney’s or your David Beckham’s but he’s very well known anyway.
So I’m perusing Amazon Uk for biographies when I stumble across a whole host of them belonging to no name British so called talent. There was a biography from Chantelle Houghton – the dumb winner of Uk Celebrity Big Brother! The ditzy cow is only in her 20’s and yet she’s got a book out detailing her ‘life’?! What life? 20yrs of it? Are you taking the pies woman?!
A biography is meant to catalogue one’s life’s achievements for crying out loud, a written account of your life if you will. As I looked around it got worse, and to cut a long story short I saw many biographies from totally non-celeb tv personalities which infuriated me somewhat rotten. Of course at the end of the day its money making scheme so they can make the most of their 15mins of fame before they become non famous. Granted tubby Chris Moyles is in his 30’s but he isn’t a non celeb is he? He’s the presenter of the biggest radio station in the Uk which has constantly seen its viewing figures rise and rise through the years, and shows no sign of stopping. He’s achieved a lot in his life and his book, while being funny has a lot of sad elements to it too.
What really annoyed me was seeing countless England footballers having their biogs up there. There’s Rio, Rooney, Frank Lampard (who couldn’t hit a barn door), and Steven Gerrard to name just a few. Is this what the overpaid muppets were doing during Germany 2006? While the entire nation back home is spending bucket loads to celebrate their national team, the football stars are busy sitting in their hotels slaving away on their laptops writing books? Pathetic if you ask me. They’re footballers, not bloody book authors and certainly not bloody entertainers. Overpaid? Too sodding right.
Saw this story earlier this morning and it had me in complete hysterics.
SYDNEY, Australia - A 22-year-old man attempted to drive 310 miles in reverse on a remote Outback highway after his transmission failed, blocking his forward gears, police said Friday. The man was stopped by Western Australia state police on Thursday afternoon after they spotted his car roaring in reverse down the highway at about 40 mph, according to a statement.
Full Story
A little more complicated then one would think…
I’ve been trying to make sense of this for sometime now, and only finally understood it. Microsoft have tried to get one over Sony in the HD (High Definition) war, and to be honest they’re hammering them hilariously. Although MS forgot to mention that 1080p wouldn’t be as simple as most people would have thought. The techy geeks knew it would be a complicated matter, and to be fair - it bloomin is. Depending on the method you’re using to connect the Xbox 360 to your TV set, you’ll obtain various results while watching films and playing games. I’ve been staring at a forum for what felt like hours last night and finally got my head around it.
360 with component cables:
- Xbox 360 games will be upscaled to 1080p, and games which are 1080p native will run without a hitch.
- HD-DVDs will run at a maximum of 1080i, which is due to the AACS DRM implemented into HD-DVD’s.
- DVD’s will only play at 480p, due to the CSS inside DVD’s, which prevents upscaling any higher…bummer.
360 with a VGA cable:
- DVD’s, games, as well as HD-DVD’s will display in full 1080p. Sweet!
Microsoft has been very quiet about this, and it’s obvious why. They know a lot of people use Component cables to connect the 360 to their HDTV, and to have DVD’s playing at 480p is quite frankly pathetic. However most people will already have separate DVD players anyway, so this situation isn’t that bad. MS were quite foolish not to have seen the HDMI bandwagon coming when they released the 360, and even bumbling giants Sony saw it. I wonder what the video quality will be like on the HD-DVD drive coming next month in November for the 360?
Another WordPress upgrade
I’ll be upgrading this blog over the next two weeks to a newer version of the K2 theme that you see in use at present. Also being upgraded will be Wordpress itself to v2.04. This could result in the blog being a right utter mess over the next few weeks so bear with me here. To be honest, I’ve been wanting to move away from it so I could switch to something less complicated, but since I’ve more or less built this blog around the theme it’ll be hard recoding certain sections of it to another one.
I do have a stunning theme which I have been tweaking for the past couple of months during my spare time and I may possibly bring that online for a couple of days although I’m not sure.
Finally, I have had a few emails asking me to put up a gallery. I had already decided to add one to the blog but ran into problems months ago and I never looked at it again. To add to this, I’m so busy with my job that I hardly take photo’s as frequently as I once used to do anyway. Landscape photography was something I loved doing but I never showed off any of my work!
You’re beautifoool…
So I went out last night with some friends to celebrate the birthday of a friend of Taz’s. Now this was a last minute decision to go by yours truly and it was one which I was beginning to regret. It was a mid-week celebration so obviously nothing big was planned, except for a night in a pub in Harrow, which was holding its first karaoke night as the landlord had bought a new machine.
I can’t sing, or I thought I couldn’t. There were 8 of us and I was the only guy in the group which didn’t help matters. We all had a lot to drink downing pints, shots of anything that resembled alcohol and then took rotations on the machine. As I type this right now my chest literally hurts like hell from all the laughter - I’ve honestly never seen anyone make such an idiot of themselves on stage. Things couldn’t get worse, but then dear Taz hopped up, or should I say staggered up to the stage…
The odd thing about tonight was that we couldn’t choose what we had hoped to sing. It was up to the others in the group. We finally settled on
Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous Girl. Much hysterics ensued as she tried to hit the high notes and failed horribly making a total muppet of herself - to be honest she sounded like a mouse being strangled. I was next and their choice of song was a complete disaster! They then shouted out for the Bluntster! I looked a tad confused for a second or two until I realised that I had to sing
James Blunt - You’re Beautiful. I almost cried. There was no way I could reproduce his somewhat high pitched voice and yours truly now looked like the muppet! Other tunes that came up were from Black Eyed Peas, Mariah Carey and a massive joint group effort as the girls sang a
Sugababes tune! Eeeek!
Had a lovely time though even though I was just there for 4hrs. So, Happy Birfday to you Jenny even though you’ll most probably not be reading this. Ta very much for inviting me and er balls if I’m going through all that again!
I’ll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You’ve been the only thing that’s right
In all I’ve done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we’ll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we’ll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can’t raise your voice to say
Slower slower
We don’t have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads
Have heart my dear
We’re bound to be afraid
Even if it’s just for a few days
Making up for all this mess
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I’ll be right beside you dear
Snow Patrol - “Run”
