Walking Amongst Dark Shadows

I wash not pished

I spent most of my weekend in France this weekend. My last trip was in March which ended up in a drunken singing session on the coach as we returned to the Uk. This booze cruise trip was also from work, and we could invite whoever we wanted. I was pestered into taking my deranged 19yr old half cousin Ayesha with me. I knew I’d regret doing it as I can’t even keep her under control but she came down from Manchester for the weekend so she could play with Elmo!. She was sad enough to take Elmo on the coach with us which made him quite popular with the other 3yr olds…

We set off for Dover at 04:00 on Saturday morning. We reached Dover very quickly, caught our SeaFrance ferry and starting crossing the channel. Last time we did this, the sea was nice and calm, this time however it felt like I was in a canoe in the middle of the pacific! The weather in France, Calais was horrid (again), but we were here for ze booze! Four hypermarkets were visited, and lots of booze purchased! I ended up spending just over £250 on a whole load of assorted drinks, while Ayesha tried to chat up a young guy at the customer service desk. I think he didn’t understand a word she was babbling on about, he certainly looked puzzled.

We visited Boulogne after that for 2hrs but it was miserable. The weather was dull and almost everyone was too tired to even get out of the coach after having run around hypermarkets for a solid 3 hours or so. Coming back to the Uk was fun. At passport control, I tried to convince them that Ayesha was an illegal lol, they actually told her to stand to one side for a few minutes until she eventually found her passport!

The coach broke down just 30mins after leaving Dover. While the driver and his assistants tried to sort the issue out, they were unaware that most of us had sneaked out the side of the coach and grabbed as much booze as we could from our personal purchases! Bwahaha. Once again, half the people on the coach were totally smashed and drunk somewhat silly as we sang every Robbie Williams, Westlife and thankfully Oasis tracks that the driver had put on just to shut us up. Good luck explaining to your mum why your jeans stink of Jack Daniels & Coke Ayesha I had a lovely time, partially marred by the weather but I’m safe and happy knowing that I’ve got enough booze to give friends and family for Xmas now. Mmm Baileys Truffles!