Walking Amongst Dark Shadows

J.Alba, Orange-utan, Elastic man, Firestarter and Dr.Dumb return

It’s been a while since I visited the cinema to watch a film, the last one being Hot Fuzz! I’m a big fan of Jessica Alba and back when she was an unknown in Dark Angel, I knew her career would progress far. She’s back with the same bland cast in the sequel to Fantastic Four, which arrived in 2005.

I didn’t think much of the first film, and since I only recognised two actors from the film (Jessica Alba aka Sue Storm and Julian McMahon as Dr.Doom) I just didn’t find myself enjoying it as much as I had hoped. Elastic Man ala Reed Richards needed a slap for being a wimp. I don’t claim to have read the comics, nor do I know what he is actually like but I didn’t like his character.

So me and Deena bounced off to the local cinema after having a few drinky poohs and food stuffs, and relaxed to watch the film. I had to restrain myself while the Chavs in front of us couldn’t control their bladders as they had to keep getting up to go for a wee. Obviously they couldn’t control their alcopops or cider they had previously drank…I’ll get back to this in a moment. As the commercials began I whooped with joy to see the Xbox 360 logo pop up followed by a Forza 2 advert! Deena wasn’t too pleased….

Rise of the Silver Surfer reminds me of Spiderman 2. The first Spidey title was a tad boring, yet the second was superb. Director Tim Story returns to produce this sequel. Reed Richards played by Ioan Gruffudd (Welsh) wants to wed the lovely Sue Storm (Jessica Alba) in the celebrity wedding of the year. He vows that nothing "not even the transformation of matter on a sub-atomic level" will interfere with their upcoming nuptials.

Elsewhere The Thing (Micheal Chiklis) is trying to contain erotic thoughts about banging his blind girlfriend to himself, and that firestarter chap played by Chris Evans is searching for new ways to use his superpowers to make money. Stupid arse! He’s a superhero who can have any woman he wants in the city, and he goes after money! Things are rapidly ruined by the emergence of the Silver Surfer. His appearance on Earth isn’t a good thing because planets tend to vanish 8 days after he appears on one and we don’t really need that right now do we? The Silver Surfer, who isn’t a baddy per se is voiced by the brilliant Laurence Fishburne. It’s his job to prepare Earth as the next meal for his planet munching master Galactus. SS’s arrival awakens Dr.Doom who somehow worms his way into a government project to research the SS. The FF4 try in vain to stop the SS and fumble almost all the way, whilst Galactus looms closer to earth.

The special effects in the film are pretty good but nothing special. The scenes in London are rather cool as is the flight chase sequence in which that firestarter chap chases the SS around New York, dodging landmarks and skyscrapers. Chris Evans is annoying as ever, quite like his actual character though, oh and Deena thought he was fit. Not sure what to think of that. Jessica Alba tries to save this film with her drop dead stunning looks but fails as she keeps whinging about her wedding instead. Her wig in this film didn’t help either after she damaged her hair in the first film. Julian McMahon from (Nip Tuck, Scrubs and Charmed) had to play a tertiary role in this film and just looked rather out of place.

Rise of the Silver Surfer is approx 90 minutes long and to be honest it felt longer. Whilst the cast still look bored out of their skulls, the film does well as a popcorn action movie. It’s significantly more enjoyable then the first, has better effects and it did make me chuckle in places too. As a bonus, the ‘hoodie chav’ sitting in front of me, had a couple of popcorns added to his hood, before me and Deena scarpered for the exit. Yay I wins!