I sound like Mr.Bean!
I had a nasty touch of the man-flu about a week ago, but I managed to shake it off after a solid week spent at home with nothing but Lemsip and Beechams powder. However on Thursday night on the way home I realised that my eyes were heavy, my voice had changed so I now sound like Stephen Hawking’s on steroids, and my nose was blocked. "Shite", I thought to myself. I’ve just fought off the worst case of man-flu, and now it’s back so quickly to haunt me.
Now you have to realise a few things about me. Firstly, I haven’t seen my doctor since I was 18, I am now 32. He probably assumes that I am dead. Secondly Medicine is a no-no. I don’t touch the stuff, well apart from Paracetamol - mainly because it does nothing to me but put me to sleep. If I should catch a cold, it’ll last about 2-3 days, however this case of the recent man-flu knocked me out hard and now that I sit here typing this with a blocked nose and sore throat, it looks like it wants to finish me off.
So last night after a very rough journey home (nearly got arrested on the bus again), I popped into Boots the Chemist for a LOT of medicine.
The lady behind the counter looked at me. She was hot. I don’t get this, you see if you want to pick up a hot indian girl, forget temples, family meetings (oh god not those), forget weddings too. Go to BOOTS. It seems to be a magnet for hot, young indian girls…I think Deena won’t like me saying this, but then again she’s banned from my house until my flu vanishes 
Hottie: “It appears you have some kind of viral infection…your eyes….”
No shit sherlock? It is always reassuring to get such a definitive diagnosis from a medical ‘professional’. I just nodded. Opening my mouth to speak in my correct condition would scare her away should she hear my voice.
