Gerrof moi land!
Although luckily it wasn’t our house but our garage that was broken in to instead. On the night of Wednesday 31st Oct, some plebs decided to break in to our garden, defy two deadlocks and steal….frikken cooking utensils and food! That’s right, ignore the shit expensive Flymo Lawn Mower, and ignore the 2x £210 Black & Decker Strimmers but take our food and pans instead!
So they made away with various pots and pans belonging to my mother, they also raided our fridge and took 3x legs of lamb, and 3x packs of fish as well as a blender. Lastly they took 3x bottles of Comfort (a fabric conditioner for those outside the UK) Now this has put some relief into my father and I but my mother is obviously fuming and a bit mentally scarred. So much so that she was up at 2am in my bedroom staring out of the window into our garden, which then made me panic as I saw her silhouette in the darkness when I woke up. My father and I are quite happy that they turned out to be utterly crap ‘thieves’, having taken worthless things, well worthless to us anyway. Someone out there is having a good meal with fresh country smelling clothes…
I phone up ‘The Fuzz’ and was told "Ok sir we shall be there very soon, please don’t get your fingerprints on to the crime scene…" – as I am holding the very door that the ‘thieves’ broke in to. Great!. They were round here inside 3 minutes much to our amazement, and took photo’s and other stuff. I suspect that my mothers cooking toys will be at the nearest car boot sale soon.
So we’ll be in Block 101, to the left of the stage boogying away to one of the best bands of the 90′s alongside Oasis. I can’t flippin wait for this one! Ta luv!
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