Yes I’m still alive. I’m just enjoying this incredible summer and heavily busy with work! Right next!
Recently something weird has happened to me. No Deena, this isn’t a post about you…well you better not be two timing me or your iTunes collection gets it!
Recently a relationship based thread on the Overclockers UK forum, where I tend to ‘hang out’ has managed to get me rather riled up.
To surmise things - A poor chap who I shall call Mr.X, in his mid 30’s fears that his girlfriend in her mid 20’s is cheating on him. They’ve been going out for a year now she moved in with him 4 months ago. To cut an even longer story short, there is sufficient enough evidence to prove that she is cheating on him. This ‘evidence’ in some areas was gained by spying on her e.g checking her phone for texts. Not the best of moves but it is easy to stray off the ‘correct’ path when you’re undergoing emotional torment. It is hard to understand how he felt until you’ve gone through the motions yourself obviously.
He asks:
why is she acting so different?
why is she saying these things to me ?
why is she now thinking the holiday will be a waste of time?
why has she suddenly after 368 days suddenly gone from texting me 20+ times a day to 4 or 5?
why is she cold towards me.
why is there an air in my own home.
She has known what I do in my career for over 7 years. So it is no surprise what I work.
Why has her drive in the bedroom deminished?
The evidence is strong even if some of it was gained through means that would kill any trust in their relationship completely. Apparently another guy at her workplace is involved and she’s been dropping hints that "we don’t see much of each other anyway" - and that was more than enough to seal the deal for a lot of those who replied to the thread including yours truly. From what I could see, she’s making silent suggestions that she isn’t happy with things and that their relationship is pointless as it stands.
So far he has yet to confront her over this, so he is biding his time more than anything else. The longer you wait mate the deeper that hurt will go. I have been there and it hurt immensely. Right now you’re being strung along because you are her lifeline, well your house is more than anything else. How much hurt are you going to go through? How deep is your mental pain going to go before you do something?
I went through these motions once in the past and it turned out that my other half had her eye on the ‘next man’ at her workplace. However he was pressuring her badly. I saw the strain and panic on her face every time her mobile went off in front of me. I realised what was happening but instead went through the emotional pain and took my time to confront her. Eventually I started realising her complaints about our relationship weren’t really complaints, but silent suggestions that she had given up on it. So we broke up and she went out with the next guy, who dumped her after a few months.
Quite a few people in that thread have gone through what Mr.X has, so we all know how you feel. We know how it can so strongly affect your judgement. Love is a bitch, yes it can be the most wonderful of things but in this day and age I see it very differently compared to how it once was.
