Awww. Do you want to see a grown man cry? Well, if that be the case, take one to watch Marley & Me. In my case, it was my friend Ayesha taking me to see this film, which I knew I would regret.

The film, loosely based on the book stars Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson as Jennifer and John Grogan – an everyday couple who are on the verge of starting a family. With Jennifer following her ‘life’s rulebook’ to a tee. Her next step in life is to have a child, much to the horror of John who feels that he just isn’t ready for such a step. To ween her off the idea he decides to get her a dog – but not any old dog, oh no. They purchase a lovable puppy and name him Marley. It quickly becomes obvious that this dog is a potential nightmare in the making, as he is hyperactive, eats anything and pretty much drives everyone mad.

The film also heavily focuses on the couple as they raise a family, with John obtaining ever more promising positions at work granting them a valuable opportunity to move homes to a better area. As their family blossoms Marley never changes and remains a constant (see troublemaker) in their family.  With Marley pretty much destroying everything he touches, he remains an integral part of their lives and is essentially their ‘first child’. The film never gets too cute and funny and maintains a serious edge mid-way through the film with the ending being enough to bring grown men and women to tears. Don’t watch this film with make-up on ladies.

Oh dear lord where to begin.

My advice to people who have yet to see it – go and do a good PEE before watching this film. Drinking alcohol beforehand is a no-no, or you’re screwed otherwise. Transformers 2 is so damn long that you’ll end up going to take a leak at least TWICE.

I might as well say this now. If you are a teenager who never saw the original cartoons, on which this film is based then you will love Transformers 2 as you have nothing to base the characters on. I know that my five little neices loved it, despite not knowing a single thing about a Transformer. Those who grew up around the 80′s cartoons will either fall into the ‘It wasn’t bad, but fark me it is too long’ or ‘MEH’ catogories. I fall into the former. Ayesha was so bored that she began playing with her new iPhone 3GS during the Agent Simmon’s “come to my basement” scenes.

Shia LaBeouf fumbles, stumbles and blabbers his way through this sequel, with Megan Fox providing the much needed eye candy. Add in a pointless university roommate who was such a waste of space that I wonder why he was even in the cast, and Agent Simmons returning for the quick fire gags played by John Turturro. Soldiers Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel also reprise their roles as Sergeant Epps and Major Lennox.

Director Micheal Bay piles on the explosions, more explosions, yet bigger explosions, rock explosions, building explosions, cars being blown into the air; then exploding, and even more explosions….oh and robot fights in this sequel, which introduces us to so many characters and transformers that I spent half the film only recognising good and bad transformers by the colours of their eyes. It was a complete mess.

This time round the story makes little sense, and features more plotholes than The Mummy Returns. The characters are equally annoying and the action is repetitive and predictable. There is so much happening at various points in the film that you could pop out for food, return and yet miss very little. The film just never wants to end. Actually sod it; I’m ending this here before I really begin ranting.

Pixar return with the very mismatched family of prehistoric furballed mammals.

Manny the Mammoth and his female (what else?) mate Ellie are about to discover the joys of parenthood as Ellie has one in the ‘oven’ as it were. Sid the Sloth has felt somewhat left out by this and decides to try and adopt a family of his own, instead of finding a female mate. Sid the Saber-toothed Tiger has become somewhat old and tired of his lifestyle and wishes he was a hunter again, away from his ‘family’ and out in the wild.

Sid being as stupid and clumsy as he is manages to come across three unhatched dinosaur eggs, which eventually hatch to reveal T-Rexes who immediately assume Sid is their mother. Of course the real mother eventually finds them and isn’t too pleased. Hilarity then ensues as the real mother takes her newborn infants as well as Sid and runs off to her ‘world’. It turns out that there is an entire lost world beneath the ice, which no one really knew about – until now. The ‘family’ go off in search of Sid and bump into the heroic but crazy weasel Buck, voiced by Simon Pegg. Buck spends his time hunting the big bad of the lost world – a giant, evil carnivore by the name of….Rudy.

Of course there is another attraction to the Ice Age trilogy, and that is Scrat – The Sabertooth Squrrel. Scrat is a bumbling, comical furry creature whose antics would remind most older folk of Wiley Coyote, from the classic 50′s cartoon Road Runner. Scrat happens to be one of the key reasons why people of all ages love the Ice Age trilogy. His mannerisms and failings are hilarious to watch as he goes after that elusive acorn. Hell he even has a 7 minute short film on iTunes that is quite funny. In all the previous Ice Age films, Scrat pretty much appears at random moments when the film’s main plotline gets a bit long in the tooth as it were. It is as if he is introduced just to wake up the audience just as they are tiring of a particularly boring segment of the film.

Ice Age 3 introduces a love interest for our furry friend and chaos ensues. Overall, Ice Age 3 still manages to raise laughs a plenty.

Aside from Twitter virtually taking over any spare free time I have, I’ve also been buying a few toys. The most recent is a Blu-Ray player to replace my old HD-DVD player. The ‘Panny’ BD35 as it is known has received rave reviews online for it’s superb picture processing abilities and such a machine at a shade under £200 was too hard to ignore. You can find my review in the erm, reviews section!

This past weekend I had the chance to see Hancock, Will Smith’s latest film that has seemingly appeared out of nowhere with little hype until its UK release approached. I had hardly heard of the film until it arrived on my ‘hit list’ of films to watch. So armed with four extremely loony little nieces (well sort of!) we all bounced off to Harrow town to catch the flick before they had to head home to Deadyland aka Leicester. Shame we couldn’t grab a bite to eat afterwards wasn’t it?

The film is a must for all Will Smith fans. I am no means a fan but I do respect his acting skills and regardless of what the internet critics have to say – the guy has great screen presence. It’s amazing to see how he has moved from being the star on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air to where he is now.

Hancock was a rather interesting film right from the outset. It starts out very strong and remained that way with comical touches throughout and then things begin to go slightly pear shaped almost half way through. This is not film of the year, but I highly rate the film in my books. It is quite good and comical and easily worth watching if you’re a Smith fan.

Will Smith plays John Hancock – a homeless, slightly reckless alcoholic who just happens to have super-powers. A bottle of whiskey is always close by as he charges through the air to bring villains to justice, in possibly the most over the top manner possible. His reckless attitude in protecting humans and apprehending criminals earns him a bad reputation from the media and civilians. Criminals aren’t the only ones at the receiving end of Hancock’s recklessness. That poor whale…

Just when things couldn’t get any worse, Hancock rescues Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) who just happens to be a marketing gimp in a suit. He thanks Hancock for saving his life and then has visions of turning his public image around into one that the public truly love. Hancock couldn’t care less about his image though.

At this point the film begins to open up once Hancock is introduced to Embrey’s family, especially his drop dead stunning wife Mary (Charlize Theron). At first she seems to despise him – but I got a completely different impression here. Those were not looks of hate I was seeing but passion, and heated passion at that. There was definite tension between the two and that is where I will end things.

Will Smith pulls off the character Hancock superbly. His rough, gritty expression makes our hero even more believable as an abandoned soul with nothing to lose. It is just fascinating to watch him play the character.

The special effects are superb and over the top as with any Hollywood blockbuster of late. The sky scenes towards the end of the film are quite incredible – they make The Day After Tomorrow look positively tame. So where did things go wrong?

As the film introduces us to our hero and the Embrey family it all seems rather straight forward. Obviously there is a lack of a villain, and that is where it falls flat. The ‘villain’ comes out of nowhere and surprised almost everyone. For the most part the baddie isn’t even a major player in the film. I can’t give much away by saying that there are a couple of points in the film where the story takes a vivid turn.

On the whole Hancock was very entertaining, and even the girls all loved it. I truly enjoyed it just as I enjoyed his last film – I am Legend. Will Smith just cannot put a foot wrong when it comes to his repertoire of films – well Wild Wild West and Hitch weren’t his best I guess! Oh by the way, stick around after the credits because there is an extra scene.

The Fedora Hat returns

It’s not everyday that a couple would go to watch a top hyped film and come out arguing like cats and dogs but that is what kinda happened on Sunday night when Deena and I decided to go and watch the latest Indy film. It’s been ages since I went to watch a film properly so I was pretty excited!

I won’t get in to the nitty gritty of the film because I wasn’t expecting something that could equal Lost Ark and Temple of Doom. Today’s films are in a totally different league to the older ones and Kingdom/Crystal Skull is a good example of how the film industry has changed over the recent years.

Nineteen years – is what separates us from the previous installations. It’s fairly obvious to say that Harrison Ford has aged out of his role as the Professor and part time adventurer. In this era of CGI heavy films you can’t be blamed for thinking that the film could end up as a flop. Luckily the film doesn’t make CGI scenes really apparent. There are some but I shall not spoil things.

I wasn’t expecting this to match or even surpass any of the previous three films so I was concerned that this would be a run of the mill non-stop action/adventure movie from start to finish and in essence it is just that. In my opinion it is the weakest of the series with a poor set of characters.

Dr.Jones (Harrison Ford) still has that charm and charisma as well as the ability to make you laugh at his mannerisms. His son, Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) is just a mess of attitude who resembles a Grease reject. It’s hard to even like his character but he has his moments and we are looking at an actor whose career is only just beginning. It was great to see Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) and she looks great for her age although she lacks some of that attitude from Lost Ark now that she is a caring mother for our Grease reject.

Mac played by Ray Winstone just fails to make any impact and is just a dull character on all accounts. It’s hard to see tough guy Ray portray a slimy sidekick. I was hoping I would see a sidekick relationship like we saw in The Mummy with Brendan Fraser and Kevin J. O’Connor but that fell flat on its face.

So we have two characters we can identify with. It’s sad to see Sean Connery, Denholm Elliot and and the legend that is John Rhys-Davis absent from the film but then having them all in would be character overkill but at least we knew them really well.

Only a few moments in the film made me laugh. The previous films had moments that made me think "Damn, he’s screwed now, he can’t get out of this". Crystal Skull had none of those tense, exciting moments and that is what let me down. This is what my girlfriend Deena and I couldn’t agree on. Whilst she loved it, I just couldn’t see what was so likeable. I do agree it is a great film – but when compared to the other three, it becomes the weakest of the bunch. Maybe I need to watch it a second time?

Tonight I managed to finish watching the first three episodes of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles – A continuation of The Terminator trilogy now serialised by the Fox network. As I watched this a few thoughts came storming in to my head as I saw one of the CGI Terminators in Episode 3. I cast my mind back to 1991 when Terminator 2 came out.

For those who know their computer hardware, did you know that the transformation scenes for the Terminator 2′s evil T-1000 were done by the legends known as ILM – Industrial Light & Magic? Most people will be nodding their heads round about now. However did you know that the machines they used back then consisted of 40MHz Silicon Graphics workstations with 64MB of RAM? Just think about that for a moment and look at the power we have with today’s hardware…scary isn’t it?

"They mostly come out at night…mostly"

Coming from director Francis Lawrence we have the cinematic adaptation of Richard Matheson’s novel and has been in development for years now. It was originally to be directed by Ridley Scott featuring Arnie, except by the time the final details were confirmed Arnie was a big shot governor in some U.S city…

I pretty much know what goes on this film but wanted to see it on the big screen. This was a Boxing Day release so I thought we could wait a week or so before watching it. There would be less chav’s in the cinema and we could actually watch in peace without bloody default Nokia or Sony Ericsson ringtones going off every 10 seconds. It wasn’t too packed so I could really take in the grim reality faced by our protagonist Dr. Robert Neville played superbly by Will Smith.

It is almost everyone’s common fantasy to think you’re the only person left on the planet after a disaster of some kind. All alone in a huge city with no-one for company but your own thoughts. Obviously our human survival instincts will kick in fast, and you will be on a continuous hunt for any survivors – Hope – will be what drives you on. The stark reality is that you won’t last very long, as the human psyche just cannot handle being alone in such a way. The sudden shock of discovering another human is another aspect, which will be difficult for anyone to handle after being isolated for so long. The sole focus is on the psychological torment endured by the protagonist, that and something else…

Spoilers being slightly obvious here, Dr. Neville undergoes similar challenges. The film opens up in New York City, 2012. The city is deserted, with vegetation now pouring in to the streets and wildlife roaming free. Dr.Neville is an ex-military scientist who is in some way responsible for what has happened here. A disease, which was meant to be a cure for cancer had mutated and become a killer. It transformed the majority of mankind in to something that I shall not really go on about here; I’ll leave you to find out.

Dr. Neville has his ever faithful dog, Sam for company and she is the only thing from keeping him from losing his marbles. She can sniff out wildlife (dinner) and he can shoot to kill. They both hunt during the day and shelter during nights in his security heavy home. It’s clear that his sanity is being tested as he openly talks to Sam as if she was human, and then he speaks to department store mannequins in the same manner. The first half of the film is pretty well paced and it slowly sets out what has happened to the world, and in greater detail with flashbacks of what happened on the night of the disaster. Thirty minutes in, and we see exactly what has really finished off the humans. We see some superb, yet tense moments with Sam and Dr. Neville and before you know it the film has ended.

Will Smith in all honestly pulls off his role perfectly as the almost insane Dr. Neville who is plagued with a great deal guilt and remorse. In places it’s hard not to put yourself in his shoes and feel sorry for him, not just for his emotional state in the film, but the weight of the guilt that hangs over him. Deena ended up using my lovely expensive coat to dry her tears in some areas of the film, which annoyed the hell out of me… Smith pulled off Dr. Neville’s emotions perfectly. Sadly the film is partially ruined by CGI scenes. A deserted New York City is hauntingly eerie, but CGI elements just failed to blend in to the film too well.

Those who read the novel will probably be angered that Hollywood has butchered it good and proper, and who can blame them but those who haven’t read the novel will possibly end up doing so as a result. I know I will.

Got KARR?

The huge Cult US show returns on February 17th 2008 with a two hour pilot, prior to the new series. Knight Rider was legendary back in the 80′s telling story of one man and his high-tech indestructible car. However the legend that is David Hasselhoff, 55 won’t be returning to the show at all. Instead we will be introduced to his son played by Justin Bruening, 28. So far ITV are the favourites to obtain the rights to the show here in the UK.

Now I’m hyped up about this for one reason. I LOVE SHELBY GT500′s – they’re my dream cars, and KITT just happens to be a GT500KR! However looking at the early shots, I’m not convinced it can work. The original KITT was a simple looking thing, with a jet black exterior and black wheels. The GT500KR confirms to this but those 20" chrome wheels look well out of place right now. I have seen shots of the GT500 with black wheels too so who knows what will be used.

For more information, check out Jalopnik.com’s article.

Get the flock outta here!

Just for relaxation, this weekend myself and Deena watched a film I’ve been longing to watch the moment I saw the first trailer.

Black Sheep is from Jonathan King and features mad, angry carnivorous sheep, which run amok on a remote New Zealand farm. Henry Oldfield has a rather silly phobia – he has a fear of sheep after being the victim of a rather horrible childhood prank by his older brother, Angus.

After spending a good number of years working and living in the city, Henry returns to the farm to see old friends and to sell off his remaining share of the place to his brother. At the same time we’re introduced to two environmentalists who are trespassing onto the property to expose Angus, because according to them he is performing genetic experiments on his livestock.

Naturally chaos ensues and we rapidly end up with mad mutated baby sheep escaping the farm, biting a few sheep and hey presto! We have mutated zombie sheep by the hundreds hunting for man-flesh! Hilarity naturally ensues as we see Henry and the environmentalists battle it out against the evil mutant sheep.

It’s basically Shaun of the Dead, but with fluffy sheep, and set in New Zealand. Black Sheep made me cackle hilariously at the rather dry gags. The humour obviously isn’t as good as the British black humour seen in Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz but it is still very humorous. My most terrifying moment had to be the evil sheep standing in the corridor – there was something about the scene that made me feel rather uncomfortable.

All in all, despite Deena finding it ba-a-a-ad, I found it slightly above average and rather funny. I mean, how can you not laugh at a mad sheep driving a jeep?!

Yarr! Thursday Dec 13th at the O2 Arena myself and Deena are off to watch the legends that are Richard Ashcroft, Nick McCabe, Simon Jones and Pete Salisbury perform in front of thousands. The tickets for the whole tour were sold out quite a while ago but she bought us both some well before that as a birthday present.

This morning she happily told me about it, even though I’d already known about it because I sneaked a peek at the receipts in her handbag weeks ago So we’ll be in Block 101, to the left of the stage boogying away to one of the best bands of the 90′s alongside Oasis. I can’t flippin wait for this one! Ta luv!